Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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