found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
