I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
