Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
