can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
