drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
