Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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