everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
this is an emotional support booty call
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
