Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
