is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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