yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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