literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
