you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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