I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
