I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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