Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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