What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
