pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
