I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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