if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
