Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
