return my video game
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
