I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
