Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
