Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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