Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i think i have herpe
just one?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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