he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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