Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
