Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
