you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
