Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
