if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
