omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
