Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
