I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
