He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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