i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
