Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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