Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
