so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
