She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
