Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
