He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
