it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
