I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
