Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
