The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
