You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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