Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
