There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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