D3 body, D1 cock
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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