Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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